Are our kids too busy to play?
March 20, 2009 by Marci
I have noticed an unsettling trend among families that I’m sure you have noticed, too. Although, some of you might not see this trend as a problem. I do. We all love our kids and we want them to develop to their full potential. These days, there is a plethora of activities and classes for every talent and interest our kids might possess. This can be a great blessing for our kids and our families. But, I can’t help but think of something my husband tells our kids “You can do anything you want, just not everything.”
My husband and I let our 7 year old daughter take one class during the winter to get some energy out during the cold months. She loves to ice skate, so she took ice skating lessons and loved it. When the session was over, we didn’t rush to fill that spot in our schedule with something else. When I talked to other parents, they were surprised. It seems that the current view is that our kids need constant scheduled activity. My question is “Why?”
Will our kids really be that far behind in basketball if they don’t start a rec league when they are 5? If my 7 year old daughter doesn’t take ice skating lessons year round, will that really hurt her in the long run? Its not like she is aiming for the Olympics. She just wants to have fun. You know, be a kid. What is wrong with “downtime”? When are kids going to learn to use their imagination and figure out how to think on their own if all their waking hours are scheduled for them? Think back to when you were a kid. What did you do afterschool? I remember riding bikes for hours, constructing forts in the backyard and making up games with neighbor kids.
We have been trying to have the kids friends over to play these past few weeks. It has been a bit frustrating. Its seems most of their friends are too busy to play! They have classes, lessons, practice. I remember having sports practices daily in high school, but my kids are 7 and 4! I’m not against classes and lessons. I think they are great. My daughter takes ice skating once a week during the winter (November to March) and plays softball in the summer (June and July), because she loves it. They are not simply schedule fillers and they aren’t everyday.
My fear is that, as a whole, we are letting busyness flowover into our kids lives. Lets let kids be kids.
Is this just my perception or do you see this trend too?
Comments (6)
I couldn’t agree more!! When I was growing up, we didn’t get involved in activities until junior high. It is hard, because we feel our kids will be “behind” if we don’t put them in now, but they grow up too fast, let them be kids!!
Oh I so agree with you. People just don’t understand why we don’t have our kids signed up for everything. They are each only allowed one thing at a time and even then we are selective on dates and times. I want us to enjoy one another and not be constantly rushing from one event to the next. No thank you.
“Lets let kids be kids”…amen to that!!
Laura
I see strong evidence of this trend. In addition to this, I also see the parents who over-schedule their kids judging those of us who don’t as being inadequate parents. In the pediatrician’s office, the doctor asked what my daughter was involved in – after I told her, she said “What, no music lessons?”.
This year, I’ve decided to sit back and listen to the needs of my children. I have one child who goes to the reading tutor once a week. My other daughter loves Girl Scouts. They both take piano lessons every other week. They have opted out of soccer this season – it does not hold interest for them.
Around certain moms, the eyebrows are raised because they do not take dance lessons, opted out of sports for the season, and that my littlest does not participate in Scouts (she tried it, thought it was boring). It makes it difficult to schedule playdates with their children – hard to squeeze into their schedules. I constantly question whether I’m doing the right thing. In the end, however, I have to answer to the needs of my children and not the desires of the ‘hood.
Amen, sister! It has become so hard to raise children in such an accomplishment driven world. You are right on in not giving in to the pressure of the current trends and listening to the needs of your children. We are not building a resume for our kids!
This has been on my mind a lot lately. On one hand, I don’t want my children to be “behind” when they do join a sport/activity, but for gosh sake’s–they’re 5 and almost-3. My son (the 5 year old) is hesitant to try new things, and I want him to have the self-confidence that other kids have…Does that put him at a disadvantage because I’m NOT signing him up for basketball and soccer and t-ball?
I believe it all goes back to Miko’s Girl’s comments about putting the needs of our individual kids first and not the expectations society puts on us. Some kids love to be involved in new activities – and that’s great if it works for your family. Some kids would rather cling to the comforts of home – and that’s great, too. Some kids are ready to start basketball at 5, some will be ready at 10 or 12. Studies and common sense have shown that one of the top predictors of success in children is a stable, loving family where they are confident that they are loved. As long as we nurture and develop their natural gifts, abilities and self-confidence at home, I believe our children will be at an advantage in the long run.