Overcoming Busy

Kids’ routines and responsibilities

June 11, 2009 by Marci

Last week, I told you that my husband and I were working on summer routines and responsibilities for our kids.  (Setting up summer routines) After much discussion and taking advice from others, we came up with a plan which we put in place this week.  We wanted more than a chore chart on the fridge and an allowance.  We wanted a plan that would work for the good of our entire family.

Begin with the end in mind

The first thing my husband and I did was to decide what our goals were for our kids this summer.  Did we want to teach them something or did we just want some help around the house?  (I have to admit I wanted a little of both!)  Was this just a summer thing or the way our house would be run from now on?

Teaching the kids how to be a family was very important to us.  We wanted to instill that as a family, we all work together.  One or two members don’t bear all the burdens while the others reap the benefits.  Our kids have always helped out around the house, but just when ever we asked them to.  Nothing was set in stone.  This summer, we wanted them to take some ownership of some of the household duties.

We, also, wanted to create an environment that would work with our summer schedule and let us get our responsibilities taken care of in a natural fashion.  I didn’t want to have to stop the summer fun and say “time for chores!”  I knew nothing would get done that way.  My husband and I came up with morning and bedtime routines for the kids that incorporated some of the responsibilities that we wanted the kids to take on.  We also know that our kids function so much better in a routine.   My daughter had a morning and bedtime routine during the school year.  It stopped a lot of crying and whining about brushing teeth or making the bed.  All we had to say was, “Did you do everything on your routine list?”  No confrontation at all.  She either said yes or went and checked the list again.  My 4 year old had a routine, but it was set by me.  He is old enough now to do it on his own.

By the end of summer, our goal is to have a good foundation laid that we can build on to continue creating responsible young people.  We always say we are not raising boys and girls.  We are raising men and women!

Making the list

Once we decided what our goals for our kids were, we had to come up with the actual routines and responsibilities.  We used my daughter’s school year routine as a starting point.  It had the basics:  brush your teeth, make your bed, put the dirty clothes in the hamper….  We just built on that for their routines.  As far as chores go, we started this week with just a few and will add as the summer goes on.  We decided to not give them the same old jobs I always have them help with.  That would be too boring.  Instead, they each got a promotion!  For instance. my daughter has been my go-to girl for putting away the silverware for years.  Now, my son is in charge of the silverware sorting.  (And, boy, is he excited!)  I always do the vacuuming, but now, once a week, my daughter in charge of either the downstairs or the upstairs carpets.  (She couldn’t believe she gets to use the big vacuum!)

We made a list of daily routines and chores for each child with a few extra chores scattered in throughout the week.  Now, we just needed to decide how to keep track of what was actually getting done and how to motivate the kids.

Keeping track

My husband and I came up with routines and chores for both kids and decided that instead of having too separate systems going on – the routines and the chores- that we should treat them all as responsibilities.   Along with a lot of you, we didn’t want to give our kids an allowance.  Why pay them for something they should be doing anyway?  However, we do believe in rewarding good behavior and that working toward a goal can be very motivating.

In the past, I have been against “chore charts”.  I’m not sure why, except that I didn’t want to get some big chart that no one ever used.  And, with a traditional chore chart, is the reward the little sticker or do you have to get so many stickers for a reward or what?  It just seemed confusing – too much like “clutter”!  So, we looked for an alternative to the traditional chart and allowance route. We chose to try Handipoints.com to keep track of the kids responsibilities and rewards.

Handipoints is a website that allows parents to create online task and behavior charts for their families.  Kids earn points by checking off their tasks.  The more chores they do, the more points they earn. Points can be redeemed for real life rewards from their parents and can be used in Handipoints’ very own HandiLand – think Webkinz.  Our kids love Webkinz and other computer games, so we thought that would be a great motivation for them.  We thought of some other rewards as well, such as an ice cream cone,  a trip to the park and baking their favorite cookies.

Get started

Well, this is day 4 of our new found responsibilities.  I have to say, its gone much smoother than I thought it would!  We sat the kids down this weekend and explained the whole thing.  They weren’t too excited about the lists, but the Handipoints site made their day.  Now, each morning after breakfast, the kids run upstairs to see what is on the list for that day.  At the end of the day, I sit down with each of them and make sure they have completed their chores and give them points for behavior.  Handipoints has behavior tasks in their lists of options.  We use “be kind to your brother/sister” and “no crying or whining”.  If they have made it through the day, I check the box for them.  It has really worked.  All I have had to say, so far, is “Do you want your points?” and they straighten up.  Now, I realize, the new will wear off, but I’ll take this as long as it lasts!

I have high hopes for our kids this summer.  I can already see them taking pride in “their” jobs.  What responsibilities do your kids have?  How do you keep track?