Help me handle these kids!
July 23, 2009 by Marci
Ever have those days when the kids are bouncing between bouts peaceful cooperative play and total knock-down-drag-outs complete with screaming and blaming? Yesterday was that kind of day. The kids have suddenly fine tuned the art of antagonizing each other into a complete frenzy. Usually, I can handle the bickering and the real fighting can often be stopped by some quiet time or a nap. But yesterday, I was at my wits end. As I stood at the sink washing dishes listening to the kids scream at each other upstairs, I prayed “Lord, help me handle these kids!”
That’s when it happened. Its like I heard God say “What about love, nurture, mold and shape? Handling is for animals.” I am admittedly a lazy parent at times. I know they know better and in my feeble little mind, I think they should just act better just because I say so. (Or yell from the bottom of the stairs!) The truth is raising kids is a hands-on project. They need to not just be told, but to be shown. They must be guided through childhood not just pointed in the right direction.
Sometimes, the pressures of wearing all the hats women wear gets to be too much. Its hard to do anything well when we spread ourselves so thin. We may be trying to be a good wife, a good mom, keep a pristine home, be a gourmet cook, make sure our kids are into all the right activities, volunteer, keep up with our blogging community… Those are all fine goals, but we can’t work on them all at one time and expect to succeed in all.
There are times and seasons in our lives. Right now, my children are young. They need to learn how to get along and share and be respectful and make good decisions. They don’t care about how clean the house is or the gourmet meal I have planned. They need the time that I may be spending online or planning my next project. My kids don’t need a handler. They need their Mamma.
Comments (4)
OH girl, I feel your pain!! BELIEVE me!! This was one of your best posts for me, it was MUCH needed and I thank you from the bottom of my heart =)
Oh wow! I think you, Erika and I are having the same type of revelations today! I completely agree when it comes to our own children! They learn right and wrong from the things their parents do. Not just because we tell them so because we show them! Love this! Thanks! I hope today was better for you
Amen, sister!
Oh, wow, I needed to read this today. I just found your blog today, and I’ve been reading through recent posts, and this one…wow. My almost-four-year-old has been very good at being almost four today. For two hours – TWO HOURS – I said (sometimes rather loudly, sometimes rather sharply) the same two things over and over again: Eat your breakfast. Leave your sister alone. Since these are things I say to her EVERY DAY, it seemed to me that she should just do them. She certainly knows how. But…I just told her, over and over. I didn’t sit down and eat with her. I didn’t sit on the floor and play with her and her sister, thus giving her the playmate she so desires (her sister is 9 months, and my oldest tries so hard to play with her, but it doesn’t work very well!). I just spoke, over and over, and I spoke only directives, not encouragement, not love, not joy. Whew. Time to reboot this day. Thanks for the awesome reminder.