Overcoming Busy

Why Can’t We Attain Our Goals?

February 24, 2010 by Marci

Anyone out there still working on their New Year’s Resolutions?

Still striving to meet those goals?

Most people have forgotten all about their goals by this time of the year.  Life has gotten in the way and the goals have taken a back seat.  So, there’s always next year.   How many times have we shrugged our shoulders and just given up? Why do we do that?  If the goal was that important to make in the first place, why are we giving up without a fight?

Here is my theory, however flawed it may be.  There are several reasons why we give up on our goals.

1. We make goals for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we make goals that our friends make or goals that we think we should make.  When it comes right down to it, we don’t care whether we attain that goal or not.  We might make the goal of working out 3 times a week because a friend is doing it.  We agree to make that goal with them because of the friendship not because we really feel the need to make the goal of working out.  Or, we might make the goal of reading a book a week because we want to be more well read.  Intellectually, we know that is a good goal.  But, is it realistic and are we doing it for the right reasons?  Who really cares if we have read more books than the next person?  If your heart doesn’t hurt when you give up on a goal, that goal really wasn’t that important to you.

2.  The goal was too big. I don’t believe any goal is too big.  Anything is attainable.  But, I do think trying to attain a huge final goal without breaking it up into smaller pieces is setting  yourself up for failure.  For instance, if your goal is to run a marathon and you haven’t worked out in years.  You probably don’t want to run that marathon your first day out.   Break it down into smaller goals that eventually lead up to the final goal.  That will set up up for success and keep you motivated in the process.

3.  We are just weak. I hate to say it, but some of us just give up too soon.  Things get hard and we just throw in the towel.  Even if our heart is breaking.  We can’t take the negative comments from others who don’t understand our dreams.  We can’t take the pressure and the hard work.  We let life get in the way and control us.  We rationalize our failures by telling ourselves that we don’t really need or deserve to realize that goal.  We tell ourselves that it is just not worth it, but then feel miserable inside.  Sometimes we need to suck it up to get what we really want.

Instead of making huge New Year’s Resolutions this year, I decided to make smaller monthly goals.  I know how life is and how priorities might change.  Setting new goals each month seemed like a way to make my goals more attainable.  Right now, I am working on February goals.  My goals for this month were to work on a new blog layout, get to bed by 10pm and cut down on my online time. How’s is it going?

My blog is now in the hands of my friends and web designers, Gretchen and Trina, at Thyme For Design.  They are going to be working their magic in the very near future.

My new early bedtime was going great until the Olympics!  I am missing sleep again, but it’s worth it!  I’ll get to bed by 10 again in March.

For the most part, I have not been spending tons of time online.  I just check my email and facebook a couple times a day.  Reading blogs is my relaxation so I usually read a couple while having my morning coffee and then again in the afternoon.  There are days when I have some time to spend a little extra time online, but I really try not to spend time online when I need to be with my family.

I feel good about my goals for this month.  They are helping me reach my larger goals.  The success I feel now will help me be confident to make more goals next month.  What goals are you ready to make?

I’m linking up to Goal Gathering Monday at The Bona Fide Life.