Expectations – Another Form Of Busy
June 25, 2010 by Marci
My quest to rid the busy out of our lives began a couple years ago. At that time, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what really makes “busy”. As time goes on, I realize there are lots more things out there that are getting in the way of what is most important in life than I originally thought. Today, for instance, I came across one that I’m not sure I have blogged about before.
Time To Myself
Our main babysitter lives next door. (Answer to prayer!) Over the summer, she has set up times with various moms in the neighborhood to give them a scheduled break each week. Hallelujah! Sign me up!! Today, is my first day. Everyone kept asking me if I was going to get my nails done or go shopping or get a message or meet someone for coffee. As this morning drew closer, I started feeling stressed about the whole thing. What should I do? All of their suggestions sounded fine, just not what I wanted to do. What did I want to do? Well…I didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but I just wanted to go somewhere to read and write uninterrupted. But, that didn’t sound as glamorous and girly enough. That wasn’t what was expected of me!
STOP!!
That’s me telling myself to get a grip. I just discovered another form of busyness – trying to live according to someone else’s expectations. In most areas of our lives, my hubby and I have swam against the current. If everyone else is doing it, probably time for us to turn and run the other way. But, in this instance, I was letting the expectations of other stress me out! There is nothing wrong with their suggestions and maybe next week I’ll feel like doing one of them. But, today I just want to read and write. That is relaxing to me!
You see, I really like this blogging thing. It fills a creative need in my life and has given me great relationships and tools for living better. I get stressed if I don’t blog at sometimes during the day! So, I will not let anyone make me feel stressed over my decision to blog during my precious time away. Besides, I love Panera’s Hazelnut coffee!!
What would you do with a couple hours to yourself? How do you make that decision?
Comments (6)
I am childless (excluding the 9mo) every thursday, and aside for a few errands I may need to run, we enjoy quiet time at home – I craft, or surf the net, or play with bubba as he wants me… and housework is a no-no!
This is so true. I’m getting my hair cut Saturday. My hubs and I play this little game – I don’t admit I know it doesn’t take 8 hours for him to play a round of golf and he doesn’t admit it doesn’t take 4 hours for me to get a haircut. SHHH!
I am considering how I will use my time (aside from a few quick mall returns). I am expected to get a new dress for a wedding in two weeks (which given my laid back life I will probably never wear again), but I may just check out some really quirky jewelry shops around town and get a fun necklace to wear with an old LBD instead.
Good for you for doing what was renewing for Y O U!
I enjoy blogging (reading/writing) for the same reasons you listed and often do that with my free time as well.
I have several interests that I like to pursue with ‘kid free’ time and I choose one based on what I’ve been thinking about most leading up to my weekly time (OR how tired/motiated I am LOL!!
Sometimes I blog, sometimes I read, sometimes I go thrift store shopping or work on a DIY project, sometimes I organize/edit photos for our family blog and/or scrapbooks (thinking of going digital soon!) sometimes I go see a movie with a friend!
I have to keep on reminding myself why I blog. I have such a competitive streak in me, and it is so pesky pervasive…who is doing what? what is my contribution? how many times am I posting? will my readership like this? Or unsubscribe?
NO, i am blogging for me. my own journal. to write my own thoughts. Not for others, well, to share with others, but FOR me.
Living up to another’s expectations has always been difficult for me to fight. I am still recognizing it and saying “no thank you”, and I see you are too. I don’t know what to do with a couple hours off either. I feel guilty like I need to clean the tub. When I want to browse for nail polish, do a sudoku, or do a bit of embroidery. Thanks for reminding me that it is really only my expectations that matter, not what others think they expect of me.
Last weekend my hubby gave me a few hours “off” and I had the same delimma – I ’should’ do this or that or the other….
Instead I went to the library and sat in a chair with a stack of books next to me. For FOUR HOURS. I flipped lazily through some travel books, leafed through some cookbooks, read the first chapter of several novels I’ve been wanting to check out. Didn’t have to rein in any of my 4 kids or keep them quiet ‘please just for one minute while Mommy gets her book…’ ! Bliss Came out later with an armload of books and a clear head and it was all free.
So most people would think that was a dorky way to spend a rare free afternoon. To me it was heaven!
Love your blog – so glad I found you!
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