Lies We Believe
April 21, 2011 by Marci
Do you ever feel like you will never get it all done? Do you go to bed with a longer to-do list than you woke up with? Does it feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day?
Why is there so much to do? Why do I have to do it all?
I get those same thoughts. Quite often actually. I just get “busy”. I can’t help it. It’s our society and what we have been programmed with. When I feel those thoughts start to dominate my thinking, I know it’s time to re-program my mind. It’s time to get the lie out of my head that I have to do all and be all. How do I re-program my mind? Replace those lies with the truth.
Lie #1 – I have to have a perfectly clean home at every given moment
Truth #1 – Seriously? Who wants to live like that? Our houses are homes, not museums! Life should be happening there! Life is messy! Your family wants a mom that lives, not just cleans.
Lie #2- I have to be involved at church and school and in the community. That’s what a good mom does.
Truth #2 – It’s fine to be involved outside the home. It can make life fulfilling and give moms a little social time. But, when it starts interfering with your family’s well being, just say “no”. There will be plenty of volunteer time when the kids are older or have left the nest. Our best community service is done in the home!
Lie #3 – I need to be perfect.
Truth #3 – There is no perfect. God made every one of us unique. He made our families unique. We get the notion of “perfect” when we start comparing ourselves to others. STOP IT!! We don’t know what is really going on in “perfect” peoples private lives. Many times, we don’t want to know. Be the person God created you to be!
Lie #4 – My kids need to be involved in lots of extra-curricular activities from a young age so they won’t miss their calling or be passed up by the other kids.
Truth #4- Guess what. Most of the time, the kids that are standouts at an early age get passed up by the kids with real talent and work ethic when they are teens anyway. So, don’t sweat it. Let the kids be involved in what they want, at the age they want, when it fits into your family’s schedule and lifestyle. Kids are a member of the family unit. What one does should be weighed in light of the whole.
Lie #5 – I have to do it all. Everyone else does.
Truth #5 – First of all. Most people are not doing it all. It is simply impossible. They might give the appearance, but we only see parts of their life. There is a quote I like, “It’s better to do a few things well than to do many things poorly.” If we try to do everything, our quality goes down. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the quality of the the most important things in life to decrease because I choose to add a few more activities and commitments to my plate.
What other lies is society telling us? What lie have you fallen for?
Comments (11)
These are all great, but #2 really hit a cord with me. It is so true that there will be plenty of time later on, but the idea about strong families/ raising great kids as benefiting the community, too, is so important. Our families ARE the foundation of our communities and so we need to make sure they are strong.
And this is why I love you!
All of them are so true! I especially can relate to #2… Unfortunately it has been my biggest struggle for a year now. But your truth is hits it on the nose! So so true. Miss ya!
this is great marci – will promply be adding it to my ‘i like’ page.
another lie i can think of is that of ‘entitlement’
I do this for ______, therefore I ‘deserve’______.
nope, we ought to give and love with the attidude of needing nothing in return or we’re really just giving and offering love to ourselves.
Excellent points. I think the blogging world has made these lies all the more believable. People tend to post the more positive things about their lives on their blogs and then we compare that to our worst day. I blog and people often ask me how I “do it all.” Well, what they don’t see is that I simply don’t do it all. For example, I always feel like I’m not doing enough of #1, #2, #4. Some of that is b/c I blog. There is give an take in everyone’s life. I also think that b/c there are so many different blogs out there, that makes us feel like we should be doing it all. But not everyone is an amazing photographer, cook, couponer, scrapbooker, neat freak, and homeschooler. Each of those people just blog about their particular strength. They don’t do it ALL. But it can feel that way when you spend too much time reading blogs…I know I often do.
Marci,
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. Did you get inside my head? I was starting a post on a similar note. Thanks for saying what we all need to hear!
God Bless.
Denise
Great post! Since I have started homeschooling I drastically back my volunteer work at our church. It is something that plagues me with guilt, but I have to keep telling myself that my family is my mission field right now! Your post really struck a chord with me today – thank you!
#4. Thank you. That’s a hard one for me. I don’t do extracurriculars (yet). I feel terribly guilty for it, pretty much anytime I see other kids my oldest son’s age carrying their little violin cases around, but it just doesn’t fit our lives right now. It can wait! And if it waits forever, we’ll survive that, too. They’ll get into what they need to do, when they’re ready to do it, right?
Thank you for that! Those lies are so true! (no play on words intended) But seriously, I have repeated each and every one in my head way too often!!
I completely agree! Excellent!!! We have a lot in common
So glad to find you.
LOVE IT LOVE IT Just what I needed to hear. I just blogged on the keeping the home clean myth today actually. I’m officially OVER IT!
[...] little while back, I wrote a post called “Lies We Believe”. Katie at Imperfect People asked me to expand on that and write “Why Believe The [...]