…and I blog over at We Have The Golden Ticket. I am thrilled to be starting the New Year off with a guest post on Overcoming Busy! Special thanks to Marci for the invitation. After reading blogs for a year & a half while we secretly struggled with infertility, I took the plunge to start a blog to announce our pregnancy in 2008.  Thus, our blog title was born and we consider our son, Reddington Forrest, to be our “Golden Ticket.” I blog about fashion, multi-tasking, being a foster parent, yummy recipes, family adventures- the good, the bad, & the ugly- home decorating projects, being a lover of Jesus, & my self-diagnosed addiction to crafting & creating fueled by pinterest!

If you were a fly on the wall in our house you would hear a lot of talk about four-wheeling, dreams, band-aids, Mr. Bear, movies, friends, chocolate, & Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with little conversation about vegetables, hunting, exercise, & sports. You may actually hear my husband & I adding to out list of things we have in common since we’ve always said the theme for our relationship is “opposites attract!”

2012 is going to be a memorable year! In May my parents are taking us to Disney World to celebrate their Retirement.  We will be traveling with my immediate family of 9 & with an age range of 3-62! My hubby & I both turn 30 this year…. and did I mention that we’re hoping to get a phone call for a Foster Daughter or Son between the ages of 0-12 months?! See what I mean? We are anticipating that 2012 is going to be a big year & we’re looking forward to seeing what God has in store for us along the way.

My sister, Tatum, & I are in the process of making plans to travel on our first overseas Mission Trip to Ethiopia.  We will be meeting orphans’ basic needs along with discipleship & education at “Trees of Glory” Care Point in Duber, Ethiopia. On the blog I regularly post prayer requests & fundraising updates for this trip & keep my readers posted on the progress I’m making toward raising my goal of $3,000.00.

Please hop on over to our family blog & become a follower. You just never know what we’re up to! Thanks again to Marci for letting me introduce our family to you. I look forward to meeting YOU!

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I just had to introduce you all to Megan. My husband and I have known Megan and her hubby since they were teenagers. Megan is right – they are opposites, but so good together! I just love them and enjoy keeping up with their life on We Have The Golden Ticket. Thanks for guest posting, Megan!!

Welcome to the final week of the What Matters Most series here at Overcoming Busy. I hope you have been as blessed as I have by the incredible guests posts so far. If you have missed any, you can go to the What Matters Most homepage and link to all 10 previous posts. Today, Heidi from Wonder Woman Wannabe is sharing her perspective on what matters most.

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When Marci asked me to share ‘What Matters Most’ in my life, the conclusion was so simple to land on.

Friendship.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m an only child, maybe it’s because I’m a natural born extroverted ‘people person’ – maybe it’s a combination of both. I’ve always valued and depended on friendships in a very deep way.

{via}

From a very early age, I have had a distinct ease and drive in meeting new friends.  Whenever we went vacationing as a family, it never took me long to find someone to hang out with once we made it to our destination.  I find people in general quite fascinating.  Everyone has a story to tell and a common bond to connect with.  One just needs to ask the right questions and have an open mind and heart to listen and learn.

Life is just richer and more meaningful with friends to share it with, don’t you agree?

The co-authors of the book, ‘The Worn Out Woman‘ did a superb job of summing up what a good friend offers to your life:

• Perspective – they offer a new way of looking at things with a balanced & objective point of view.
• Company – they walk with you and stand by you, while providing a distraction from the pressures of your day, comfort from the hurts of life, and escape from feelings of loneliness.
• A place to vent – they are a safe person who will offer patient, non-judgmental listening.
• Accountability – Allowing yourself to be transparent and vulnerable is a wonderful protection against temptation.
• Encouragement – Sometimes you just need someone who will come along side you with a compliment, a hug, or an, “I-believe-in-you!” attitude.

The older I get, the more I value the many friends I’ve met along my life’s journey.  I’ve developed quite a crew ‘soul sisters‘ from each and every season of my life.  They have truly shaped who I have become today.

‘‘Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.’’

-Assyrian proverb-

In our ten years of marriage, my husband and I have moved 3 times.  We may still have at least one more move ahead of us.  Time and full time employment offers will tell.  While we have been blessed to meet some amazing friends, we have always seemed to come to the end of the road of our time in a particular location just when we were entering that sweet spot of friendship… when you’ve moved out of the ‘getting to know you’ phase, into the phase where you just ‘get’ each other.  There’s no question if you want to hang out, or if you’ll be bothering them if you call.  It takes a while to get there.  But, once you do, it provides such a beautiful sense of belonging and purpose.

While I’ll always cherish those long-distance ‘old’ friendships we’ve made through our journey of life, it’s just not realistic to expect that our relationships can sustain the same level of intimacy and dedication that it did while we were living life together.  While I’ll always be ready and willing to share in the joy and heartaches that life brings their way as we keep in touch as often as we are able (thanks to the wonders of technology!), it’s just not the same as when you are physically spending time with them.  It must have something to do with the fact that we are physical beings.  You need to share time and space TOGETHER to feel full and complete in your relationship with one another.

I also agree with the philosophy that Randy Frazee, {author of  ‘Making Room for Life‘} suggests about keeping your friendship connections in small circles rather than several “linear” relationships.  In other-words, you should be attempting to maintain friendships with others who have some sort of relational connection with each other (within the same circle) as well.

“In a linear relational model, you run from one relational unit to another.  You go to work; you call your father or sibling on the cell phone; you golf on Saturday with a group of guys; you attend your son’s soccer game; you meet with your financial adviser; you answer and email from a former coworker; you go to church.  As you exit one world and enter another, there may be some mention of the people you just left behind, but essentially they are not connected to the present world in any meaningful way…..the only thing any of these people have in common is you.”  (this is what he suggests you should avoid when attempting to build and maintain meaningful friendships)

Constantly trying to maintain these types of relationships is not only exhausting, but it lessons the likelihood that these people really know you.

Why?

“Because the most important thing about you is the relationships you have –your relationship with God and your relationship with others.  For community to be authentic and strong, people have to share in those relationships with you.”

I’ve since observed that *new* friendships are somewhat harder to come by and develop the further you progress into adulthood.  When you’re young, it’s as simple as finding someone who is ready and willing to play.  As you get older, you naturally develop bonds with people who share the same interests and skills (through sports, extra curricular, hobbies, etc.)  Transitional times in life (like college, the newlywed phase, and having your first baby) also provide natural and easy opportunities to develop friends with others who are also experiencing that same ‘new’ phase of life with you.

“A true friend shares freely, advises wisely, assists willingly, encourages quickly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeable.”
-adapted from William Penn-

We’ve lived in our present city for just under a year, and I still feel as though we’re in that ‘getting to know you’ phase with several of the new friends we’ve met. I think this is due largely in part to the current phase of life we’re in and a big reason why I’m hoping we’ll be able to truly settle down permanently somewhere soon.  While we’ve been blessed to meet some pretty great people, I’ve observed they’re pretty ‘set’ in the friend department.  In some cases, they are in existing local friendships with others that they’ve known for over 10 years.  On top of that, several of them have immediate family in the area which lessens their ‘need’ or motivation for developing new friendships even more. That leaves a lot of the responsibility of relationship building in our court, which can get very tiring after a while especially with the other ‘busyness’ of life that tends to build up.  But, I’ll keep at it.  A good friend is so worth the effort.

~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

So, if you’ve got a good group of friends, make sure they know that they are appreciated by you.  Plan a special event or night out to enjoy one each others company.  Call up a girlfriend, ask how she is doing and really listen. Send a hand written note thanking her for her friendship and list a few things you appreciate about her as well. Don’t take the beautiful gift of friendship for granted.

Look at your existing relationships.  Do most all of your friends know each other?  It might be worthwhile to simplify your circles in efforts to have better quality friendships above sheer quantity. Alternatively, you might consider looking around outside your regular circle once in a while and invite someone new into your existing group.  I’d be willing to bet that there are several other ladies in my same season of just moving into a new town, waiting and wondering where she’ll fit in with an established group of gal pals.

~Plautus

If you don’t yet have a ‘soul sister’ type of friendship in your present phase of life, then take initiative and make the effort to put yourself in a position to meet people right where you are.  Show up where people of a similar  age group or like-minded attitude are likely to be.

* Find a church and attend extra activities and/or small group events and studies offered.  Do this even if you feel you are on the shy side.  Do you have special interests or hobbies?

* Attend a class, club, or other organized function.

* Get involved with a cause or committee to serve on alongside others.

Don’t be afraid to approach people.  I have met some of my recent closest girl friends simply by making small talk at the local library while at story time with my kids, or at the playground alongside other mothers.  Kids offer a great way to provide instant connection and conversation starters.  It’s as simple as, “How old is your little one?”  “Do you visit here often?”

When you get right down to it, the best way to gain new friends is actually quite simple:

“The best way to have a friend is to be one.”
~Ralf Waldo Emerson~

You need to be available:

“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.”
-Robert Brault-

Don’t let the busyness of life rob you from the amazing gift that friends have to offer.

Meet my new sponsor and our winner!

On Monday, I introduced you to Overcoming Busy’s newest sponsor YourOwnHomeStore.com. Not only are they sponsoring this blog, they were gracious enough to give one blessed reader $50 in product. So congratultions Ashley!! You can read more about YourOwnHomeStore.com here.

Menu Plan Monday

Where would I be without my weekly meal plan?? Our family has been enjoying it this week.

What Matters Most

This was week 2 of the What Matters Most series here at Overcoming Busy. I have been so blessed by my friends who have shared their talents with us and wrote about what matters most to them. This week 3 friends touched my heart with their posts.

The Big Picture – from Michelle at SomeGirlsWebsite.com

Inviting Her In – from Teri Lynne at TeriLynneU.com

Relationships – from Ali at AnOrdinaryMom.com

Hands-On Science

Thursday, I wrote my bi-monthly Hands-On Science post for The Homeschool Village. This week, I gave ideas for summer nature studies. Keep in mind, these aren’t just for homeschoolers. Any curious kid will enjoy these ideas!

Why Believe The Lies

A little while back, I wrote a post called “Lies We Believe”.  Katie at Imperfect People asked me to expand on that and write “Why Believe The Lies” as a guest post. Click on over to ImperfectPeople.net and check it out!

Homeschool Curriculum for 2011-2012

Stef at Educating Layton had a link up on Friday to show off our curriculum for the upcoming school year. The purpose was not just to show off, but to check out what others are doing and get some ideas. For instance, I posted our curriculum choices with a question about writing and I’ve already had some helpful input!

StumbleUpon

This week I started an Overcoming Busy StumbleUpon account. There I will be bookmarking links and pages that I think will help us all in our journey to overcome busy. And, I’ll bookmark somethings just for fun! Bookmark my StumbleUpon page or become a follower to keep up with my finds!

What’s up for next week?

Next week, we start week 3 of the What Matters Most series. I hope this series is inspiring you to overcome busy and spend time on what really matters. On June 30, you will have an opportunity to link up your “What Matters Most” posts!! I can’t wait to read them!!

31 Days to a Less Messy Nest from The Nester at the Nesting Place

31 Days to Stress-Free Entertaining from Sandy at The Reluctant Entertainer

31 Days to a Better Photo from Darcy at Life With My 3 Boybarians

31 Days to More with Less from Jen at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam

31 Days of Autumn Bliss from Melissa at The Inspired Room

31 Days of Living Simply from Emily at Remodeling This Life

31 Days to an Inspired Table from Kendra at My First Kitchen

31 Days of Grace from Emily at Chatting at the Sky

Erin from Closing Time:  In person, we’re often friends with those who are close geographically, rather than those we might connect best with.

Monica from Paper Bridges:  My IRL friends are busy. my OL friends can pick up convos w/me easily, anytime. makes it easy to connect.

Rachel from A Steady Rain: I’m far from the ones that I can open up to!

As I read through the chat, I realized that those comments fit all relationships – not just online.

Sharing Common Interests

Growing up, we might be friends with the kids on our street not because they have a lot of common interests, but because they are close and available.  As we grow older, we might start to pick and choose friends who have similar interests. But, what if no one does?  Making friends out of convenience is great.  We all need friends.  But, those deep relationships are usually rooted out of a mutual interest or belief.  Not having someone close that you can really relate to can make someone very lonely.  That can happen to adults too.  For example – If no other mom on the block has the same interest and beliefs and you are stuck in the house with little kids and no meaningful adult interaction, that is lonely.  However, that same mom can develop a deep friendship with another mom who is going through the same thing and understands her situation.

Too Busy For Friends

In our busy society, we are around people all the time.  We meet them coming and going for brief periods of time.  But, most times we don’t spend the time to cultivate and grow relationships past that casual acquaintance stage.  Friendship take time, energy and effort.  Chatting with someone for a few minutes a week in between cheering for your kids at a ball game probably isn’t going to grow  the relationship.  These are how most of our relationships are and that’s ok.  It’s when you are too busy to take the time to build close friendships that leads to a lonely life.

Far, Far Away

We live in a mobile society.  People get transferred and move all over the country for their jobs.  It’s no big deal these days- for the companies.  However, when you are uprooted every few years, it makes it hard to develop meaningful friendships or keep them over the miles.  Families can get isolated and lonely.  That’s where the wonders of Facebook and Skype can save our sanity!

Have you taken the time to cultivate and grow close friendships?  Do your friends share interests with you or are they just convenient? Are you lonely?

]]> http://overcomingbusy.com/2010/06/30/growing-real-friendships/feed/ 3 http://overcomingbusy.com/2010/03/24/the-article-club/ http://overcomingbusy.com/2010/03/24/the-article-club/#comments Wed, 24 Mar 2010 10:00:38 +0000 Marci http://overcomingbusy.com/?p=1341

Today, I received my Better Homes and Garden magazine.  I skimmed through it while the kids were at skating lessons.  Some mom’s read books during the lessons, but I text, write blog posts and skim magazines.  As I looked through it, a little blurb in the calendar section caught my eye.  This month, the calendar featured Lisa Quinn, author of Life’s Too Short.  She shared little tips for creating “me time”.   One of her tips was starting an “article club”.  This is for the mom’s who don’t have the time to read an entire book for a book club. Instead of reading books, you and your friends could discuss a magazine article or a blog posting.

I thought this was an interesting concept, since I hadn’t finished a book in a while.   Then, I thought “Wait a minute!  I do this everyday!”  As blog readers, we all are part of an “article club” and we have the opportunity to discuss the article in the comments section of the blogs.  We don’t have to wait until our club meets.  We don’t have to get gussied up and head across town.  Our article club is open 24/7 and we don’t even care if you’re still in your jammies with baby spit-up stains!

Blogs are great sources of info for those of us who really don’t have time to wade through a whole book to find what we are looking for.  They are also a wonderful source of community and camaraderie.  So, welcome to the article club!  What shall we discuss today?

Would I offend you if I didn’t mop the floors before you come over tonight?  Don’t think I’m gonna have the time.

The response:

I never notice if your floors are clean or dirty.

Excellent!

We had friends over for dinner last night.  Good friends.  The kind of friends that walk in the front door without knocking.  The kind of friends that call up and say “Can you invite us over for enchiladas this week?”   As I was making the enchiladas late yesterday afternoon (after taking the kids to ice skating lessons, homeschooling, running the little one to and from preschool, laundry and doing some paperwork), it dawned on me.  “My floors are kinda yucky.”  At this point, I was getting tired and just wanted to sit down, so I sent the text hoping for permission to cross that off the list and just relax for a couple minutes before our friends arrived.

When people first come over to your house, you normally want to make a good first impression and have the house clean and orderly.  Then, there are those friends that you have made the good impression with, ruined that impression several times over and they love you anyway.  Those are your true friends.   That got me thinking.  What are other marks of a true friend?  This is my quick list.

A true friend has your garage code
A true friend doesn’t use that code for evil purposes
A true friend will tell you if you have broccoli in your teeth
A true friend will tell you if your new hair color is bad
A true friend will tell you if you really do look fat in those jeans
A true friend will appreciate the above two statements
A true friend will take your toddler for an indefinite time when you call and say “I’ve miscarried.  I need to go to the hospital.”
A true friend will appreciate and understand your facebook sarcasm
A true friend will bring their own slippers to your house
A true friend stops and prays when they receive the text “pray for me now!”
A true friend doesn’t notice or care if your house is dirty

I can count on one hand the number of friends we have that are that close to us.  My husband and I treasure those relationships.  Those are the friends we want around even when the chips are down.  We know we can be ourselves around them and they will be there for us no matter what.  And, most importantly, I don’t have to mop especially for them!  I hate to mop.

The kids and I are taking a couple days and going to my parents house.  They are long overdue for their Grandma and Papa fix!  We are leaving in the morning, so tonight I need to pack our bags.  We are all looking forward to the trip, but as we all know, the packing can be stressful.  Do the kids have enough clean socks?  Did someone pack a toothbrush?  Its so cold, why do you just have short sleeve shirts?

We take weekend trips frequently, so I have come up with a little routine for getting ready for a trip.  While not foolproof, it does help keep things as stress free as possible.  I started thinking about the trip yesterday.  I made sure we all had clean basics: underwear, socks, pants.  A couple loads of laundry later, we were good.  This morning, I am checking the weather at my parents and calling my mom to see if the kids can just take play clothes or do they need to pack a set of good clothes, too.

Now that I know what kind of clothes to pack, I start making a list for each person of everything article of clothing needed for each day and a spare set.  (I only need it when I don’t pack it!)  Next, I write down accessories.  Hair ties for my daughter…earrings for me.  After I get the clothes and accessories on the list, I list all the stuff needed for the morning routine.  Toothbrushes, hairbrushes, skin care, make up….those kinds of things.  The last list is what I need for the car ride.  It is about a 2 1/2 hour trip.  The kids like to take their leapsters, sketch paper and crayons or pencils, books, water and a snack.

Tonight before bed, I will pack everyone’s clothes and accessories.  Everything is clean and on the list, so this takes no time at all.  I will get my “morning routine bag” out and put it on the bathroom counter, along with the list, to be packed in the morning as we use things.  We generally use a box or basket to sit between the kids  in the car with all their books and games and snacks.  Tonight, I will pack the box and put it in the car.

Hopefully, we will get up tomorrow morning, eat breakfast and hit the road!  That is my plan anyway!

There are those seasons in life when we do feel overwhelmed.  We can’t always prepare for those times.  Good thing we have a God bigger than any circumstance.

Psalm 61:1-3 (New King James Version)

To the Chief Musician. On a stringed instrument.[a]A Psalm of David.

I have to read that passage every so often to keep myself in check.  When I feel worry creeping in, I know I have to stop it right away.  I have to remind myself that worry accomplishes nothing.   I love verse 27 that says “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? “  It can’t be done.  It’s a waste of time!  It is just mental busyness that keeps us from a joyful life.
Right now, everywhere you look and listen, people are talking about the grim economics times we are in.  Every media outlet is bombarding us with bad news and reasons we should all worry and fret.  Are you as sick of it as I am?  It’s a good thing I don’t rely on the media and other negative influences to run my life and shape my attitude toward it.  Jesus said we are valuable to him and he will take care of us  if we seek him first – not the media, not our negative co-workers, not our neighbors.  Jesus asks us to have faith in Him.  Worry is a form of fear and fear is opposite of faith.    Faith and fear cannot co-exist.

Don’t get sucked up into the mental busyness of worry.  Have faith and put your trust in Him.  He is bigger than the economy, the government, or whatever  else tempts you to worry.